BACON

Jim Gaffigan regularly posts bulletins on myspace. Here is one from today:

"I must confess I'm not a fan of public bathrooms. I guess I'm just a homebody. My zodiac sign is Cancer after all. Anyway, as you can imagine I'm never thrilled to venture into those god-awful places with "Men" printed on the door. The Men's room always has a feel of a mental ward... complete with flickering fluorescent lights, the sound of running water and old men shuffling around.

The only thing that makes this experience worse is when there is a bathroom attendant. Call me a loner but there are some things I don't want anyone attending. I don't want to know someone else is in there. I don't need a witness. Let alone some dude in a tux waiting to get a buck for handing me a paper towel. Of course if you don't have a dollar handy you must do the polite thing and not wash your hands.



Some bathroom attendants have an assortment of toiletries laid out for your bewilderment as you wash your hands. There's cologne, mouthwash, hair gel, gum, candy and occasionally shaving cream. How many times have you been out to dinner and really wanted to shave? "You know, I've got some time before my entrée and I think it's time to lose the beard."

When you get to the sink is when thing really start to get awkward. I always feel a wave of guilt when I see the bathroom attendant out of the corner of my eye. What is the right thing to say? "Um, sorry to do that in your office". To make matters worse I always seem to encounter the attendant who took the job so he could chat with people. Chat with people who just used the bathroom. I want to spend as little time as possible in a public bathroom. This guy chose a career in it.


By the way, I don't mean to offend bathroom attendants. Not that they seem like they could be offended by anything after working in there. I just am expressing an opinion.


Let's be serious. Bathroom attendant has to be one of the worst jobs. How they convince anyone to be a bathroom attendant is beyond me.


"I need a job.

I'll take any job"
"Well we could use a bathroom attendant?"

"Yeah, thanks but I'm just gonna go back to being homeless."

Just a heads up, due to demand, I will be adding shows in Oklahoma City, Clearwater, Omaha, Boston, and NYC. The special pre-sale will begin this Wednesday. Tickets will go on sale to the public on Friday.


I love you and privacy,

Jim"

::SWOON::
I have mentioned before that Jim Gaffigan is filming his television comedy special in Austin, TX this december.
I think tiffany and i may be going- the tickets are 44 bucks.
If you have a soft spot for food jokes and third person dialogue, you should come with us.

<3