game set match

fuck!!!
i give up. you win.
thanks for nothing!


/end cryptic message





Ok so this weekend ( a magical holiday weekend in which we blow up stuff and eat hot dogs)
My mother, sister, nieces, and brother -in-law are driving to Colorado for a week of vacation.
They have gone to Colorado before to camp and also to Colorado Springs to be tourists.
Ok guess who has never been to Colorado?
ME
OK guess who was not invited (again)?
ME

(God, what is with me and my pity parties?)
(boohoo my life is so bad and my family/friends are assholes. i'm an asshole. etc.)

Well to add to that nonsense and the feeling of familal exclusion/abandonment...
I have been asking my dad to go to astros game since April.
I even had tickets for him on father's day. He kept declining.
Well surprise, surprise!!! My sister from MIssissippi has flown into town with her kids
and my father has decided to take them to a baseball game...... at 1pm on a Thursday.
He called me last week and requested that I help him buy two more tickets for the game so his gf and my sister's half-sister could go, too.
Rub it in, dad!




The world does not owe me anything like I previously thought during adolescence...
However, I am entitled to people not being assholes.
The rest is up to me- but one thing I cannot control is how other people treat me... (well i cant necessarily control my own neuroses but i digress) ....or what other people do that directly affects me and or people I know.
Control is an illusion and it drives me crazy!
I AM CHASING A DRAGON (control) THAT WILL NEVER BE CAUGHT!
stupid dragon!




on a side note:
-last night at 1130pm loud noises woke me up. i figured the people were "doing things"
that made a headboard hit the walls. (they live above me and we have old wooden floors)
Well this horrible noise would stop and start. Stop and start. Stop and start. Endless repeat.
Then 30 minutes later.... it begins to migrate to 5 feet away (no longer directly about my bed)
Now I was just confused at this point... Bastian suggested that they were hammering nails.
I thought to myself WTF could these people possibly be doing at midnight on a Wednesday?
I could not stand it any more- I had been up for 45 minutes and even tried to use earplugs. No dice.
I went upstairs and knocked REALLY ANGRILY on the door.
A few minutes later, a lady appears at the door with the lights and fully clothed.
Her living room walls were in the middle of being painted.
I told her my situation and that I COULD NOT STAND IT ANYMORE.
She apologized.
If I am assuming correctly... this person was HAMMERING while either putting together furniture... or apparently installing some sort of oversized ornate decorative piece onto her wall that required 45 minutes of hammering into a wall....
At midnight on a wednesday.
WTF.
I am afraid to hammer a nail anytime after 9pm for fear of disturbing my neighbors.
Who in their right mind would think that hammering consistently for 45 minutes in the dead of night
would be okay?
(Especially when I know which car is hers.... along with the ingredients of wheatpaste and a taste for VENGEANCE!)





Am I overreacting?




Is life either apathy or reaction?